Anarchistically Random Babblings: September 2004 Archives

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September 30, 2004

The Ultimate Diet (with special offer)

How to screw your stomach up in only 3 days or
How to screw your stomach up simply with day-to-day food or
How to screw your stomach up for dummies/pros: the easy way.

Here it goes: Have Nutella and bread and water for 2 straight days, then have Mcdonalds for another two meals (Big Extra works best) and finally have hot chicken wings with a salad left from at least 3 days ago. Watching TV in the meanwhile helps a lot.

No matter how healthy you are and how strong your stomach is, it's guaranteed to send you to the OS (abbreviation for Other Side, the philosophical term for WC) before you can even finish your salad.

If you call within the next couple of days, you will receive a free gun (1) to kill yourself and have an easy, rather quick death after your stomach's screwed up.

For more information, please visit my website at http://masoud.alaki.com/weblog/archives/2004/09/the_ultimate_di.html

(1) Some restrictions apply. You should be 18 years or older and mailing guns should be legal in your country. I won't hold responsibility for any abuse of the gun (i.e others being bruised). I only guarantee your death.

Posted by masoud at 04:42 AM | Comments (1)

September 27, 2004

The Power of Belief

A friend of mine, writes on paper the things that she really wants to happen and she believes that this, will actually have a positive influence on what she wants to happen....

Here's a story: There was a boy who once dreamed that a wolf would eat him. When he woke up, he was so scared that he truely believed that a wolf would actually eat him. So he locked himself up in a room to make sure no wolf would eat him. He got bored after a while and started drawing, but all he could think of was wolves. So he drew a picture of a wolf. Guess what happened: The drawing became alive and ate him.

Posted by masoud at 10:33 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 24, 2004

Muse Concert

Tonight, Muse has a concert in Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver. I can't go, but it's an excuse to post some pics from their concert on May 17th this year. The concert was sold out, maybe that's why they're comming back so soon again...
Now despite the fact that I had decided not to post any personal pictures on this site, I feel like to post one; This is the last [non-free :)] concert we went to with Alireza and Mahsa and interestingly enough, the first concert with a repeated band that he can't go to. hehe ;)

The Opening Band [?]

Muse

Notice the tree on the left. Trees were of special artistic interest to Alireza [ghodde saserohoshsharif]. He probably thinks this picture is a very artistic one just because of this half tree. Towards the end of his stay here, he succeeded in developing a very special relationship with trees, specially the thick ones. As a credible witness (who went on a trip with him) states, he would stand in front of thick trees, gazing at them for long periods of time and would adore their beauty. There are gossips about him making love to thick trees in his highest spiritual stages. This is what is referred to as "Fanaa" (Transience) in "'Erfaan" (Gnosticisim) in its purest form. For him, the equivalence of a picture of a heart with an arrow inside and blood drops around it, was a tree (thick one) with a broken branch and a few leaves fallen around it.

Posted by masoud at 07:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Maybe....

Shot Eins:
Whenever I feel like I'm about to catch a cold, I start taking some precaustions: keeping myself warm, taking some pills, drinking hot tea, etc.
But I've noticed that all these, just prolong the period that I'm in the state of catching the cold. I eventually catch the cold anyways and now taking the above precautions (which by now would be called postcautions), WILL actually shorten the period of my cold.
So it's kind of funny that doing the same set of things BEFORE catching the cold and AFTER cathing cold have opposite effects (of course they both work AGAINST cold, but then they have opposite effects from MY point of view, i.e prolonging and shortening the period of me having the cold).
Maybe instead of taking precautions, I should take some anti-precautions to shorten the period of catching cold and then take some precautions to shorten the period of having cold and overall everyone would be happier !

Shot Zwei:
Maybe sometimes instead of thinking about solutions for our problems, we should just try to REMEMBER (as opposed to forget) our problems and whenever we stumble upon a solution, we can recognize that that is actually the solution for our problem. Sometimes the more we think about a problem, the more it remains unsolved and the more complicated it becomes....

....more shots to be added as time goes by....

Posted by masoud at 05:41 PM | Comments (0)

September 23, 2004

Dariush in Vancouver

Dariush was in Vancouver on Sep 18th, great concert ! First Michael made fun of a few singers, this guy is hilarious. Then Dariush came and as Michael warned us, he started to "vatan saazi" :) He sang almost all his good songs in one of the greatest performances with a great band.
I saw some people who I never thought I would see in such a concert (some people had the same idea about me. that shows how well-figured-out I am !)....Well, I guess people change or maybe it was because of Dariush's smart plan; mixing his part with Michael....

Michael as Ebi:

Michael as Moeen:

Michael as Ostad Shamaeezadeh:

Michael as Vigen:

Michael as Andy:

Michael as Dariush:

Michael as [don't remember]:

Michael as Moeen:

Michael as [don't remember]:

Michael as Andy:

Michael as Vigen Singing to Dariush:

Michael as [don't remember]:

Dariush:

People with Dariush Singing "Bachehaaye Iran":

Guitar Player of the Band [?]:

Dariush and Michael hugging:

Dariush and Michael:

Posted by masoud at 10:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 21, 2004

Orkut: The Future Will be Weird

I went to a concert and I knew quite a few people who I'd never met before, but I knew their faces, some names and some even their hobbies :) Well not this much, cause I have a terrible memory anyways, but anybody with a better memory than me (i.e all other people) could've known many things about many other people without having met them. I'm sure there were many people who knew me (inspite of all the crap I've written in my orkut profile) without me knowing that....It's quite funny, at the same time interesting, you name it, weird, scary, whatever else.

The best part, I actually met someone from ANOTHER COUNTRY who I'd exchanged a few emails through orkut with (and I got a new nickname through these emails: Orkut Police !) and we both recognized each other (at least I did) and the encounter was kind of a strange nice shock :) who on earth would've thought !! (just to make sure you get it right, the answer is "no one". as a general rule of thumb, all the questions I ask have a similar answer. remember The Crimson Idol post ? to prove my claim, your answer is probably a "no" !)

I know there are these crappy dating services that you can find people through them and exchange photos and stuff, but this orkut has taken it to a much greater extent without necessarily putting the name of "dating service" on it. You will see people at some place and instead of saying "Oh, I know you, we've met in that party or at that person's place", you'll say "I've seen you on orkut ! I know every single detail about your life". Dates will go to the "next" stage faster, cause there are less things to ask; you already know many of them !
This is how future's gonna be: You will probably go to an office for a very important meeting and will recognize a face (from orkut) and will remember that this person likes carrots, so you take a carrot out of your pocket and start eating it and you become friends and you will have a very successfull meeting too. Nine months later you will name your child Orkut to ironically honor the founder of this miracle.

Now who's the real father/mother of this child, orkut or you (which arises the question of "can orkut be sometimes the mother and sometimes the father ?") ? (to make more sense of this question and prevent you from thinking that this question is quite dumb and irrelevant, consider a war in which a side has won. who has won the war, the soldiars or the leaders ? or for those of you who believe in God, when you do something, is it you who's doing it or God ?)

Well, thanx to orkut, everybody now thinks I'm a pot head, african american, 84 years old with multiple birthdays, 8' 11" tall, living in Vancouver in Zimbabwe and named Hasanbeyk, etc. The truth is I only think that from time to time, 2+2=1.658 or any other number or object depending on the consequences of this equality.

Posted by masoud at 08:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 18, 2004

Infinite Idea

Think about an infinite idea: An idea that in order to express it, you would have to use infinite words/time in any language. Does such a thing exist ? Even if it does, an example of it can't be made, because then it would take infinite time to just say it !! well....

Posted by masoud at 03:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 13, 2004

Life is Poker

Life is a big poker game with the bankroll being our lives. It's more like a tournament but with people bringing different but fixed bankrolls.
You gotta make the best out of each hand you're dealt: gain the best from your good hands and minimize your losses from bad hands. If you're a good player you can win with your bad hands. It's not a fair game (at times you lose when you shouldn't), but in the long run, usually the better players win.

There are differences too. Sometimes you have to fold your pocket aces for friends, most of them won't ever even know that.

The most important thing is observing others. Try to learn from your past hands, how others played it, learn from them and change your style to best fit the vibe. Subtle hints are so important. When you have a strong idea that something's right, don't spend your bankroll to make sure of it. If you do that, you'll lose a lot in the long run just trying to prove to yourself that you were right ! Specially when it comes to relationships...
In a friendly game, it's good to see your friends' hands if they let you, to know them better and use the experience in non-friendly games. Talk about how others play it, how you and your friends think it should be played and learn.

Some people know different variations of the game, they're the more popular ones. Some stick to one game and become a master.

If you don't wanna risk, play tight; You won't lose much, but you probably won't gain much. Risk it if you wanna have a little bit more fun and power, but be careful, if your bankroll is finished, you're gone forever.
Whether you wanna show your winning/losing hand, is one of the most important decisions. It can change the path of the game for you. You'd better have a hand when you go all-in, otherwise good bye blue sky.

Posted by masoud at 09:10 PM | Comments (0)

September 07, 2004

Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell
   Heaven from Hell,
   Blue skies from pain,
   Can you tell a green field
     from a cold steel rail?
   A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
   Your heroes for ghosts?
   Hot ashes for trees?
   Hot air for a cool breeze?
   Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
   a walk-on part in the war
      for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish
   How I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
   Year after year
     Running over the same old ground
   What have we found?
     The same old fears
Wish you were here....

Pink Floyd

Posted by masoud at 07:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 01, 2004

The Crimson Idol: A Dream Comes True

After thousands of years, finally WASP came to Vancouver !! YEEAAHH !
Who would've thought !? (Answer at the bottom of the page)

As always, I managed to take my camera in, and take some pictures in front of the security :)

This is the first of the upcomming series of concerts Alireza's not comming to. Why ? Because he's now screwing around with the french in Quebec !

As WASP says "Be careful what you wish for, cause it may come true!"

Answer to the quiz question (in English): 1)"No One" or 2)"Nobody"

If you think you'd guessed that WASP would've come to Vancouver, well, you're wrong. You coudn't have possibly guessed even if you were in WASP. So stop pretending to be a foreteller. It won't work here. Nahaa. Zilch.

Posted by masoud at 05:28 PM | Comments (0)