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December 30, 2004
Google Translator
One of my friends (Sohrab) pointed this out: Google Translator is quite funny. As an example that he has found, if you translate "my mom is nice and cool" to Spanish, you'll get "mi mama está agradable y fresca", if you translate this back to English, you probably should get something close. Instead, you get "my breast is pleasant and fresh". Well, what can I say....
Posted by masoud at 11:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 29, 2004
Bum
There's this bum around Hastings street who carries about 60 kilograms of metal string like a snake around his neck. Why ? Because he thinks he's so enlighted that if he doesn't carry that much weight with him, he will float and go into the air. Well, too much weed I guess....
Posted by masoud at 12:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 23, 2004
Multimedia Story
Every story we hear or see is in one form of media; for example book or radio or TV (in this case TV can be counted as two, one for sound, one for picture, but then they usually come together anyways).
Think of a story that uses all sorts of media: First chapter is a book, Second chapter is video, Third chapter is feeling, Forth chapter has some smelling, etc....
But now here's something funny that might happen as one of my friends has pointed out: Suppose a chapter of this book has smells involved and in specific a farting smell. So you go to the publisher (or whatever you call it) and ask for Chapter two. Someone comes and farts for you.
A problem that might happen is that when you buy a book or DVD, you can read/watch it as many times as you want. But if you want to redo chapter two of the above book, someone should come and fart for you every time.
One solution is to force the buyers to NOT be able to buy each chapter separately, so if you wanna redo chapter two, you have to rebuy the whole thing again. This is somewhat unreasonable.
Another solutions is to have a number of tries per chapter. So you can only try chapter two 4 times. This will result in different versions of the book with different numbers of redoing for each chapter. So a single-try version will be cheaper that a multiple-try one. But then if you happen to forget something, you won't be able to go back to it.
Any suggestions for the name of such a thing ?!
Posted by masoud at 07:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 22, 2004
Opposite of "Boy"
What is the opposite of Boy (as an adjective) ?
A.Girl B.Man C.Woman D.none
The answer is D. No word that is the true opposite of Boy exists.
Some adjectives like "good" describe only one thing: goodness. The opposite of "good" is "bad". I call these one-dimensional adjectives. Some adjectives have more dimensions meaning that they describe more than one characteristic.
To see what the opposite of Boy is, we have to find what the word Boy describes: It shows that what we are talking about is male (as opposed to female), is young (as opposed to old) and is human (as opposed to animal). So the opposite of Boy is something that is female, is old and is an animal. For an old female, we almost have a word: Woman. But for an animal woman, we don't have a general word. Therefore there is no word to describe the opposite of Boy, at least in English or any other language that I know of.
The adjective Boy used for a specific person, can be represented as a point in a 3-dimensional space where the axes are: sex, age, humanness (!). The opposite of Boy is its opposite with respect to the origin.
The adjective Boy in general, represents a portion of this space, the borders of this portion are kind of vague meaning that there's no explicit point where after that the adjective Boy doesn't apply (for example a person with age, sex, humanness degrees after that point should be considered a Man and not a Boy anymore).
Posted by masoud at 08:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 14, 2004
People: NO-wise
Some people spit "NO" in your face. These people are too direct and with attitude. They need rehab to get over their problem.
Some people say "NO" without any considerations that it might hurt you, but they just say "NO" without being mean. These are too-direct people. They have to work on their saying-NO skills.
Some people say "NO" but will consider the situation and say it in a way that doesn't hurt you much. These are the ideal people.
Some people say "NO" in a very subtle way that sometimes becomes hard to understand. These people will sometimes have difficulty saying what they really want which will result in their rights to be violated from time to time.
Some people never say "NO". They will run you around, screw you over, confuse you, waste your time and eventually you will learn: You hear "YES" and see "NO". These are a type of hypocrties good for being treated like themselves: Being screwed over and played around.
Posted by masoud at 08:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 11, 2004
Pantera/Damage Plan Guitarist
Guitarist Darrell Abbott known as "Dimebag", founder of Pantera and Damage Plan, one of the best guitar players I've seen, was shot on Thurs. Dec 9th, 04 by some screwed up guy at a concert. Nothing can be said, it's a sad excuse to post some photos from their concert on June 6th in Halifax, as the opening band for Slayer (the photos are not that great since I was constantly trying to hide from the security who would've taken my camera away, had they seen me)....Let him rest in musical peace....
Damage Plan
Damage Plan
Damage Plan
Slayer
Slayer
Posted by masoud at 08:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 10, 2004
Poker revisited
For those who think:
-"If you fold me, I will fold you."
-"It's only 25 cents to call...."
-You are the last person to act when everyone has checked. You fold.
-You have the most money on the table, but you have lost the most too.
* X has finally got a good hand and bets. Y thinks and folds. X shows his hand and says:
X:If I'd been a little bit more lucky, you would've called me and I would've won.
Y:No, the reason why I didn't call you, is because of my good play, not because of your bad luck. You bad luck, might be that you're playing against me who is a good player.
X:Well, if you had a good hand, but a bit worse than mine, you would've called me, even if you were a fairly good player. That's why I was unlucky: you didn't have a good hand.
Y:I did have a good hand. That's why your bad luck is the fact that you're against me, not that I didn't have a good hand to call you.
-Reraising on the turn: one good confusing act.
-All techniques of poker on one side, All-in on the other side. Except for a pre-flop all-in.
2 B cnt'd....
Posted by masoud at 09:22 AM | Comments (0)
December 04, 2004
Bob Dylan revisited
Blowin' in the Wind
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
Mr Tambourine Man
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand,
Vanished from my hand,
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.
.
.
.
Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Posted by masoud at 02:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 03, 2004
Diaries of Nobody 2: Guitar, Speed and Blue Carrots
Original Story:
Dude ! I went to a concert, some dude was pointing a piece of paper towards the guitar player, I guess he expected him to sign it while he was playing the guitar, the guitar player was kind of pissed off at this dude, and he was so fast that while playing, he grabbed the paper from that dude, threw it away and continued playing and if you hadn't looked at all this, you wouldn't notice any interruption in the guitar sound.
Slow Motion:
Let's review this: So the guitar player was SO fast that he managed to move his hand towards the piece of paper, open up his two fingers that were holding the guitar pick, and grab the paper so fast that the pick didn't fall, then move his hand to his right (he was right-handed, so he was holding the pick with his right hand, so in order to throw the paper away, he had to move his hand to his right to move the paper AWAY from himself), open up his fingers again, close them so fast that despite the higher density that the pick has (compared to the piece of paper) and would cause it to accelerate faster, he would still be able to hold on to the pick, move his hand back to the guitar and continue playing it. All of this has happened so fast that there was no interruption in the guitar sound.
Next Version:
The guitar player was so fast that he grabbed the piece of paper, threw it away, went backstage for a beer, went to Hawaii on bus, had a 2 week vacation over there, got married twice, and came back with a kid, and he was so fast that he did all this and there was no interruption in the sound of guitar.
Posted by masoud at 09:43 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack